I have been dying to see this movie. I really wanted to see it in theatres but it was only in select theatres for about a week and then it was gone. Well it finally arrived from Netflix yesterday, and I was not disappointed.
Based on the very popular fighting video game, the film stays true to what made the video game popular, hot chicks, great fighting, hot chicks, amazing stunts, hot chicks, a decent story about an elite fighting competition, hot chicks, breast physics, did I mention hot chicks?
For those who have not played the games, in the DOA series, the games are fast-paced fighting games with extremely well endowed and scantily clad women beating the hell out of each other. Sounds like fun, right? Well the film is just as fun.
The film begins with four VERY SHORT back story scenes to introduce our four heroines. We start with Princess Kasumi. Played by Devon Aoki (Sin City’s deadly little Miho) the princess is competing in the DOA fighting tournament to find who brother who had competed the previous year but never returned home. By leaving her city to compete, she has become an outcast and an assassin from her own people (who is actually her brother’s ex-girlfriend) follows her to DOA island to kill her for leaving the city. I don’t know about you, but that seemed like a pretty extreme punishment. “If you leave the city, your highness, we will kill you.” Regicide is always the answer.
Next is Tina Armstrong (Jaime Pressly). A former professional wrestler, she wants to show the world she actually knows how to fight. She travels to DOA island with her father, played by ex-professional wrestler Kevin Nash (known to non-wrestling fans as the guy who played Super Shredder in TMNT 2 and the prison guard with too much estrogen in the remake of The Longest Yard). Of course, her very first match must be to beat daddy to advance in the tournament.
Third we have Christie (Prison Break’s Holly Valance). A professional thief, her and her lame partner, Max, are on the island to win the prize money and steal all the money from the tournament founder’s vault.
Finally we have Helena, played by Skinwalkers’ Sarah Carter. She is the daughter of one of the founders of DOA (who has recently died) and she wants to win this thing for daddy!
This brings us to our villain, the founder of the tournament, Donovan. He is a rich omnipotent man who watches the entire tournament from his control room. He has a bad wig and is flexing constantly. Wait for it. Wait for it, people. He’s played by none other than the B-movie, schlock-fest actor himself………ERIC ROBERTS!!!!! I knew I rented this movie for some reason.
Check out this picture of Roberts from the film. The too tight tank top and the awesomely bad wig. That is so perfect!
Well, as the plot unfolds, we find out Donovan is conducting experiments on the fighters he has been bringing to the island. Our four heroines are the finalists of the tournament and once they are kidnapped by Donovan to be his newest guinea pigs, they must stop him and save the day.
I loved every minute of this film. Video game movies come in two varieties. Bad (Street Fighter, Super Mario Bros., House of the Dead), and awesomely bad (Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, Doom). The bad are REALLY bad. But the few gems that make the arc to awesomely bad are instant classics and this film is no exception.
First of all, the stunts and action scenes are amazing. I am not kidding when I say they are on par with the fight scenes in the original Matrix. Lots of unrealistic but fun-to-watch wire stunts. The people beat the crap out of each other in fun new ways.
But the real deal here is the eye candy. All of the women in this film are amazing looking. They wear bikinis about 90% of the film and man do they look good. Because the filmmakers know their audience, the film is PG-13 but they go as far as possible with the sexiness as they can. Gratuitous butt and cleavage shots abound. Christie’s first fight scene she does topless, but there is always just a little something in front of the camera to cover her up. Here is my favorite screenshot. Helena defeats her first opponent with this risqué move:
On the DVD:
Only a making of. It’s fun to see how much work went into the fights in this film. Plus, more shots of the hot actresses!
Final analysis:
The bottom line is, if you enjoyed the original Mortal Kombat, you’ll enjoy this film. Sure, there is sub-par acting and the plot is kind of ridiculous (Eric Roberts uses sunglasses to become the world’s greatest fighter, I’m not kidding), but the over-the-top martial arts scenes and the amazing looking cast (yes, there is a beach volleyball scene to tie into DOA: Beach Volleyball) makes this movie, fun, fun, fun!
Buy this DVD!!!
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