The movie opens Black and White, as more and more shitty films are doing these days. An unseen force is hunting down the members of a family as they try to pack and leave, or hide from said terrorizing force. It hunts and kills the mom, the daughter, and the little boy. You know the movie is an un-fucking-mitigated disaster when you can figure out the big twist before the opening credits have rolled. I turn to "JOE" and tell him, "The murderer is the father!" Then unfortunatley the real movie begins.
Roy is moving his family out from, some city. Moving them out to the farm to grow sunflowers and rape them for their seeds. After the fact that his daughter Jess drunk drove with her baby brother in the car causing a giant accident and rendering him mute. Which you'd think there's no-where else for that character to go. But you'd be wrong. Because the whole movie hinges on this kid. Because for 74 of this 84 minute movie he's the only one who can see the ghosts that are supposidly doing the haunting. The rest of the time it's basically a lesson in Sunflower growing, and a teenage girl whom no one belives can see ghosts. But sometimes she really does see ghosts. Ghosts that want to drag her into the basement and do things to her. Sick perverted ghosts. SHE'S ONLY 16!
Oh yeah, there's a shit-load of birds in this movie. I almost thought I was watching someone remake The Birds. Which would have made sense actually. They showed a preview for what is obviously a hashed remake of Rear Window. The birds attack everything and anything in sight. Because evidently they're the physical forms of the ghost's rage. And hear I thought the horrors they were unleashing on the family were the physical form of their rage. You know what they say about being dead. You can't have enough rage. Ghosts are addicted to rage-o-hol.
John Corbett shows up half way through and Roy hires him on as a second pair of hands. To do whatever it is hired hands do. Together, he and Roy plant a whole freaking field of sunflower seeds. Now I'm no farmer mind you. The closest I've ever been to a farm is the one in Baltimore I used to stop at and feed the cow. But I know that when you plant a crop of sunflower seeds, it takes more than two days for the entire field to grow. You'd have to say it takes what? At least 2 months for even a petal to sprout? And that's being liberal with time. The sunflowers are high as ears of full grown corn, and then spooky shit starts to happen to Jess. When she's finally had enough she asks her father if they can just go back home. To which he replies, "This is home".
NO FUCKING SHIT ASSHOLE! OF COURSE THIS IS HOME! IT'S BEEN HOME FOR THE PAST 4 MONTHS WHILE YOU WERE PRETENDING TO BE ON GREEN ACRES. THIS IS NOTHING BUT A PRIME EXAMPLE OF HOW INCOMPETANT THE WRITER HIRED FOR THIS MOVIE IS!!!
And don't get me started on the directing. The directors. . . .That's right! I used the plural form of director on purpose!!! Just like the piece of shit Matrix films this hunk of pure filth was directed by brothers. Danny Pang and Oxide Pang. Now at least I know which one of the two their parents liked. You'd think with at least two men behind the camera on this thing they'd at least be able to catch the faults. Instead we get a, and I'm not kidding here, a 10 minute montage of Jess' shoulders, and the back of her head while a "ghost" torments her and her baby brother, while remaining out of focus. Now that's fine directing.
One more bird attack, and John Corbett is now the villain of the movie. I know, I know. I'm just as upset as you are.
While he's laying on the ground, his whole life flashes before his eyes, and wait a minute. . . Is that his old family? And wait a minute. . . That looks remarkably like the family that supposed to be tormented by ghosts in the beginning of the movie. And wait a minute. . .They're not being tormented by ghosts. They're being tormented by. . . .I FUCKING KNEW IT! THE FATHER WAS MURDERING HIS FAMILY IN THE OPENING!
Now if thought that this movie couldn't possibly get any shittier, well then my friends you have not seen a movie as poorley made as this one. Because now, John thinks the family living in his house now, is the one that tried to murder back in eighteen aught three. Or whenever the hell this piece of shit movie originated. So of course now there's a big dramatic cat and mouse game with John and Jess, and the baby, and it all leads up to John being caught by the ghosts of his family and dragged into the dirt foundation of the house lining the basement I guess directly into HELL!
Which is where this movie should have stayed!!!
FINAL ANALYSIS!
This movie is so awful that there can be no analysis. It's a giant piece of shit. A smoking turd. A lop sided fudge dragon. Avoid it at all cost!
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