I know, I know, I’ve been slacking worse than ever. But at least I’ve been contribution to the movie part of the website. I just haven’t seen a movie good enough or bad enough on DVD to justify writing a review. Plus, I watched all 5 films that were nominated for Best Picture and I felt instead of doing 5 separate reviews, I’d just lump ‘em together into one review. So here we go (ordered from worst to best):

5. There Will Be Blood – This isn’t a movie. It just isn’t. There’s no plot. There is no story and no conflict. I never even saw any sort of antagonist in this film. It was just plain boring. Daniel Day Lewis is fabulous as always, but other than that and the infamous, “I drink your milkshake” scene, there is nothing good here. The film is about early oil men in California but with no storyline to follow it’s just a bunch of scenes put together to take up almost 3 hours of your day. If you love Daniel Day Lewis, check this out, if not avoid at all costs.

4. Michael Clayton – Another film with some good acting but no substance. Everyone please remember, I’m a lawyer and I love legal dramas but civil law is boring in real life and it does not transfer well to film either (see: A Civil Action, ugh..). George Clooney is a high powered lawyer whose mentor gets a conscience and blows the lid on a chemical companies evil-doings (yes another corporation being all corporationy movie). Clooney tries to uncover what his mentor had discovered but Tilda Swinton (the in-house attorney for the evil corporation) stands in his way and even resorts to murder. And that’s where the film is SERIOUSLY flawed. I never bought that an in-house attorney would resort to killing people just to protect the company, NOT HERSELF, but the company. It’s just silly. Avoid this one as well.

3. Atonement – Here’s a shocker, Keira Knightley in a period piece, I know, it’s unheard of. Well, this film is better than the last 2 but not by much. It’s B-O-R-I-N-G! The film takes place over 3 stages in a woman’s life. In the first, she (as a little girl) catches her sister (Knightley) and a young suitor having sex. After the little girl’s niece says she was raped (but never saw her rapists’ face) the little girl pins it on the suitor (falsely) and he is sent to prison. In the next chapter, the suitor is released from prison into the British Army during WWII. He hates the little girl (who is now a young woman) and blames her for the loss of time with his true love (Knightley). Finally in the final chapter, the little girl who is now an old woman, confesses her lie about the young suitor after writing a book about it. Here is the biggest letdown in the film (other than being boring and taking 2 hours to get here)*******SPOILER!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW THE TWIST! SPOILER******

The film is called Atonement, meaning atoning for one’s sins, but this old lady who sent a guy to prison on a lie doesn’t atone for jack shit. You see, the poor suitor guy dies in WWII and his love dies in the bombing of London. They never see each other! They never have a life together! This girl ruined any chance of them having ANY time together! Now this little bitch thinks by writing a book about them (and thus profiting off them) she’s atoning for ruining their lives. BULLSHIT! Avoid this film too.

2. No Country For Old Men – Finally a film I can recommend. I have loved the Coen’s since I saw Fargo in college and this film matches their other fine work. A young blue-collar guy (Josh Brolin) stumbles across a drug-deal gone bad. After stealing the money from the scene the drug cartel sends a hitman (Javier Bardem) to kill him and retrieve the money. The film is a little long, and has some unnecessary scenes, but the BRILLIANT performances by Brolin and Bardem more than makes up for the dragging. A fun, bloody, cooky film, go see it immediately.

1. Juno – I had no hope for this film but man it is laugh-out-loud, roll-on-the-floor, make-your-sides-hurt funny! A teenage girl (Ellen Page) gets pregnant from hey dorky best-friend and has to deal with all the challenges from being a pregnant teen. Great performances from the entire cast and a perfect script make this the best of the Oscar bunch. The supporting cast of Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman (yes, Teen Wolf Too), J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney make this WAY better than Little Miss Sunshine. If you haven’t seen this, go rent it right now!

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