A FITTING END
Picking up right exactly where the second movie left us, we now find ourselves in Singapore. Where Elizabeth, Will, Barbosa, and the rest of the crew of the former crew of the Black Pearl are attempting to hire a crew and find a boat in order to reach the ends of the Earth. Or rather, to get to World's End. Singapore is where we meet Chow Yun-Fat as Captain Sao Fang. And frankly, I could have lived a long and happy life without ever having this movie go to Singapore, or meet Sao Fang. They were actually the most uncessary portion of the whole movie.
Will however, is able to negotiate a deal in which they can get a ship and a crew from Sao Fang in exchange for. . . something. And that sets the tone of the entire first half of the movie. People making deals and double crosses behind everyone else's back. This is deffinitly a thinking man's pirate movie. You cannot walk into this film and hope to just sit and watch. If you don't keep up you're gonna get lost. Which is what's going to lose a lot of the fans. However, even though this movie is basically a intro college class to business negotiations it is a neccessary plot line in order to wrap up all the stories they've started since the first film.
But that is a minor complaint. All the characters you know and love are back, and are actually evolving. They have grown from the simplistic characters you loved in the first one, to much more complex ones. But the best part in this movie, is realizing that Jack Sparrow is completley, and utterly, bat-shit crazy. His intro to this film is more like an omage to Gilliam than it is a Verbinski. And then his ride on the Pearl from the sands of the desert to the waters of the beach must have been what Jack was imagining when he made his first intro way back in the first PIRATES.
Unfortunatley for all, some of the characters we know and love will not survive through the film. In fact, they will sacrafice themselves for the greater good. But an absence of some of our favorites means that newer and more interesting characters can be introduced. Namely, Captain Teague. Keith Richards is great in this movie. He's (dare I say) a more interesting pirate to watch than Jack Sparrow. But no character is more interesting than the new Pirate Lord from the Indian Sea. A man steeped in mystery, and a mysic moustache. Who says naught a word, but rather has his second in command speak for him. Because his speech is far to royale for us to hear with our own ears. We cannot fathom the voice's magnificence. But finally, after all is said and done and the decision to go war decided he will stand, and mutter in his Earthly grandeur, "And so we shall go to war!"
To bad he sounds more less like James Earle Jones, and more like Mickey Mouse.
Of all the characters in this movie, the most interesting one to watch his journey through two films is Davey Jones. What started as a standard and by-the-books villain in PIRATES 2 evolved into a complex emotionally challenged man. His journey is one of the most fascinating of the group. Well, I'm lying. Will's is pretty damn good too. I won't spoil for you whether or not Will and Elizabeth finally get married, but I'll put it this way. The best scene in the whole movie is when Barbosa is fighting several baddies in the rain while performing a wedding ceremony. Okay, so I did spoil it. Sue me.
FINAL ANALYSIS!
More than of the other two movies, this PIRATE movie is for the fans, and the fans only. If you can't honestly say that you enjoyed the first two films then there is no way in hell you're going to like this one. You just won't. But if last year's numbers were any indication than there are more than enough people out there who love PIRATES.
The only plot point that seems hashed is the whole Calypso thing. And during the finale when Calypso grows over 70ft. tall she reminds me so much of when Animal in the MUPPET MOVIE when he grows 70ft. tall jams his head through the roof of the buidling and roars. And not just because Calypso grows 70ft. tall, but because she looks just like Animal. So she grows 70ft. tall and gets ready to wreck havoc on the English Armada, and the most she can do is create a whirlpool. Whooo, a whirlpool.
But these are very minor complaints. I loved this movie and thought it wrapped the whole series up nicely. This is PIRATES grown up. The whole thing has a very dark undertone. Even the opening of the movie is very dark. The first 10 minutes include an 8 year old boy being hung by his neck til' dead. And you're sitting there going, "Isn't this a Disney movie?"
Do not see this if you didn't like any of the prior films. It will just piss you off and seem as convoluted as SPIDER-MAN 3. But if you thought the first two were as fun as I thought they were, then you will surely love this one.
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