First of all, Warner Bros. selected a whole new cast for this film. None of the voice talent from Superman: The Animated Series or Justice League return to their roles in this movie. Why, not? Were they too busy being part-time players on Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives? Come on! We have now grown up with these voices and we want to keep them in whatever adventures the animated Superman goes out on. Personally, I think the voice actors read the script and declined to participate.
So, we’re stuck with new voice talent. Supes is played by Adam Baldwin. Now, I thought he was the 5th Baldwin, but I’ve come to find out he has no relation to Alec or Billy. He actually did the voice of the Hal Gordan/Green Lantern in the Justice League cartoon. Lois is played exceptionally whiny by Anne Heche and Lex has a new voice in James Marsters (also known as Spike from Buffy and Angel).
Where does this film begin? Well, Supes and Lois have been having an affair for 6 months. But of all the crazy things, Supes still has not revealed his secret identity to Lois! Are you kidding me? It’s bad enough we have to believe no one recognizes Clark as being Superman, but a woman he’s sleeping with can’t figure it out either! Come on!
Lex is still being all evil and stuff and he’s digging for a new power source in the Mid-West. His miners find a space ship and accidentally open the hatch and release Doomsday. Doomsday kills everyone in his path (hence the PG-13 rating) until he gets to Metropolis. Then Supes (who actually leaves a date at the Fortress of Solitude with Lois) shows up and the battle ensues. Supes dies, Doomsday dies, end of story right? WRONG!
That whole beginning I just described is like the first 15 minutes of the film. The entire plot regarding the actual title of the film ends in the first 15 minutes! And unlike the comic where we get 6 new Supermen (which might have been a pretty cool plot) we get a bad ripoff of the Bizarro story from Superman: The Animated Series.
Lois cries, Clark’s mom cries, Jimmy becomes a paparazzi and Lex gets depressed that it wasn’t he who killed Supes. So, Lex does the next best thing, he clones ol’ blue tights and sends his clone to protect Metropolis but only if it benefits LexCorp.
Meanwhile, Kal El’s robot from the Fortress of Solitude has heard a heartbeat from the corpse of Superman. He digs up the big fella and starts the yellow sunlight rehabilitation.
Lex’s clone goes rogue, the real Superman must step up and stop the clone, Lois rejoices, Jimmy rejoins the Daily Planet and everyone is happy except anyone watching this pile of shit!
What can I say about this movie? Nothing good, that’s for sure. The voice acting is terrible, the animation is sub-par and the plot is just laughable. Would it have been so hard to stick with the story from the comic books?
On the DVD:
A commentary with the producers and writer. I could bring myself to listen to it, so let me know how it is.
Two making of featurettes. Again, I couldn’t watch ‘em.
Final Analysis:
This film is awful. I don’t even recommend it to diehard Superman fans. They will be sorely disappointed. This film makes Superman Returns look like an Oscar winner. Avoid this film at all costs. Go rent Justice League or the Christopher Reeves films.
BURN THIS MOVIE!
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