Let's get one thing straight. I hate, HATE the old Thunderbirds TV show. They had these great puppets, and these cool backgrounds, and they did DICK with them. If you wanted to see a bunch of marionette puppets sitting around in chairs, then that was the show for you. After many long, puppet-less years, Lambfrys comes long and tells me,
"Dude, have you heard anything about Team America?"
"Team America? What the fuck is that? A new Mexican Wrestling troupe?"
"No! It's by the South Park guys. It's got puppets. Like in Thunderbirds."
"Really? Gay."
But then I came upon a website that told me all about the greatness that I would eventually come to realize to be Team America.
Basically this movie is the biggest rip in history. No one, I mean, NO ONE! is safe in this movie. Not Americans, not the Iraqis, not the gays, not the straights, not the asians, not the famous, not the politicians. There isn't one race, creed, nationality, or preference that won't get a slap to the face. That's not to say that everything in this movie is just to make us cringe in our seats. The great thing that makes Trey Parker and Matt Stone such a formidable pair is that they are not just funny, but smart. They pay attention to what's going on in the world and use the extremes of the right, left, and middle wing to nail our balls to the wall. The long (Trust me. . . .LONG) speech about how people are divided into 3 groups, Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes couldn't be more truer. Literally and figuratively.
But while this movie is one giant middle fingered jab at the direction the world is taking now, at it's heart, it's a the world's largest spoof on action movies. Everything from Bruckheimer and Cameron is mocked and tormented for the pieces of shit they really are. Everything from the rockin' opening with the tragic death of one of the team, to the epic automobile chases with huge explosions, to the grand finale battle. Everything is a prison bitch rape of everything I hate about action movies these days. Even the cheesy as hell dialouge everyone speaks is here. And it's all hysterical.
But even better than the jokes, is the music and songs. Dear Lord, just the songs were enough to have my stomach aching from all the laughing. Everything from the song from the hit musical "Lease!" entitled, "Everybody Has AIDS", to the theme of the movie, "America, FUCK YEAH!" was brilliantly written, as well as being a huge addition to this great satire. The song that replaces my hymn when I pray to God at night will now and forever be, "I Hate That Pearl Harbor Movie, Just A Little More Than I Miss You." The main villian of the movie is Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il. And he sings one of the most endearing and sorrowful songs in the entire movie. Simply titled, "I'm Ronery." And if you stay for the end credits, you'll be able to hear a song not in the movie entitled, "I Hate You Alec Baldwin." God Bless you Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
But how does the movie look? It's a puppet movie right? So it's gotta look like crap right? I mean, how much detail can you really put in a puppet movie?
Answer is: TONS!!!
This movie is chock full of so much attention detail that you can scarcley believe that someone would literally spend that much time, money, and effort to make something like the Eiffel Tower, and the Leuve look real. This movie has some of the most detailed sets, set dressings, and locations not seen since Lord of the Rings. Everything is beautiful to look at, and detailed the hell out of. Including the puppets. I would never, have ever thought you could get that much detail out of something as simple as a marionette. These things can emote and act with the best of them. And the ones that are supposed to look like people, like. . . .Alec Bladwin, Helen Hunt, and the dripped mustard on Michael Moore's shirt? GENIUS! Or as I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. calls him, a fat socialist weasle. And poor Matt Damon. Sounding like a goddamn Pokemon everytime he opens his mouth. I woner what Matt Damon did to these guys. Poor little fella'.
FINAL ANALYSIS!
This movie is awsome. As I sit here, I cannot wait to back in line and see this movie for a second time. From start to finish, my abdomen was aching in the pain of laughing myself stupid. My throat chaffed from all the hysterical laughter. And my trust in anyone who asks me to prove if I'm willing to go all the way for the team smashed to pieces.
Point is, no one but Trey Parker and Matt Stone could have made this movie. No one would ever have had the patience or deterimination to make a 100 minute movie starring PUPPETS! Nightmare Before Christmas was just barely 90. And while Nightmare was impressive and one of my favorit movies, this movie in terms of scale completley obilterates it!
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have sworn to never, ever do another puppet movie for frear of driving themselves insane! Too bad. But you know, at least they still have South Park. In the meantime, go out and enjoy Team America right now. It's awsome, awsome fun!