#5: THE LONGEST YARD
Adam Sandler of recent years has almost shown that he had little remaining desire to do off the wall/odd-ball comedies. Then this movie came out, and while Sandler isn't the odd-ball star of the movie, the surrounding characters he is thrown in with are more than enough to take care of that bill for him. It doesn't have as much heart as some of the others this season, but it's good enough to see twice.
#4: CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY These days it seems as though Johnny Depp can do no wrong. It seems that all he touches turns to gold. Pair him up with long time companion Tim Burton and you've go the makings of a classic. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory also reunites him with Freddy Highmore and he and Johnny are magic together. Mix in danny Elfma doing some of his best work in years and this is something just can't be missed.
#3: CINDERELLA MAN
I'm not the biggest Russel Crowe fan, but I'll be the first to admit a good movie when I see one. And this is a good movie. The legend of James Braddock is brought to life by Ron Howard in a depression era saga that's just got to win Oscar's. And if the Academy doesn't give Mister Crowe an Oscar they better be on the watch out for flying telephones.
#2: REVENGE OF THE SITH The biggest upset in history? No, just the love of another character a little more than Darth Vader. Which is not to say that this movie didn't kick all forms of ass. The last forty minutes paid for the price of admission in bags of gold coins. Even though George Lucas' talent in writing has been all but sapped from his flannel covered self, it didn't stop him from making a movie that generations of people the world over have been waiting to see. And the fact that we were present for Darth Vader's first raspy, mechanical breaths is a movie moment that will live with me forever.
BATMAN BEGINS
As much as I love Star Wars, I've loved batman longer. I grew up with Batman and will always love Batman. And while Tim Burton's vision of Batman will always be infinitly better than the ones Schumacher pulled out of his ass, they weren't the best they could possibly be. Enter Chris Nolan and his oppurtunity to helm a brand new vision of Batman and you've simply got the best Batman movie to be cranked out yet. Sure there one or two tiny qualms with the movie, but in the end, we got the batman all of us were waiting for. Christian Bale is Bruce Wayne, Michael Caine is Alfred and throw in Gary Oldman, Liam Neeson, and Morgan Freeman and you've got a cast any director these days would lop their arms off for. Except Katie Holms. She can stay with wacky Cruise. Brilliant story, brilliant characters, brilliant movie.
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#5: THE ISLAND
What started out as a meaningful movie about our place in the world and the ethical dillemas surround cloning turned into one looooong Michael Bay chase scene. Somehow he was able to take all the 20 minute car chase scenes from Bad Boys 2, and turn it into a two and a half hour film. Ewan McGregor plays once again with the whole clone thing. Between doing voice over work and being in movies involving clones I hope he doesn't get type cast into these films. Scarlette Johansen does a fine job. But that's because I didn't mind looking at her for as long as I was trapped in my seat. Michael Bay is at talentless as his ability to pick meaningful scripts to direct.
#4: SKELETON KEY
Kate Hudson is BOOOOOOOOORING! Holy God in Heaven I cannot stand watching her for longer than 10 minutes. Any longer than that and my head would explode. Which only leads me to believe that there is a Holy Father watching out for me, because after almost 2 hours of nonsense babbling I was surprised to emerge from the theatre unharmed. Well, maybe not totally unharmed. This movie is a snore fest from beginning to end. No one is capable of making exciting scary movies anymore. Hell, they can hardly make movies anymore. But since Skeleton Key is made by Universal Studios, maybe we can expect some sort of attraction or walk through maze at one of their parks soon.
#3: FANTASTIC 4
C'mon Marvel! Get your act together! What happened? You were doing so well with selecting the studios to make your comics into movies. Now it seems that anyone with a jingle in his pocket automatically gets an exclusive lisence. Fantastic 4 is awful! I mean it just plain sucks! I've seen better acting from the girls I take on dates! And now Nicholas Cage is Ghost Rider. Holy shit. What do we do now?
#2: HERBIE: FULLY LOADED
I was kind of setting myself up for this one. I honestly didn't expect much from this movie. Well, maybe I expected a little from it. What I didn't expect was a Lindasy Lohan tootsie cutesy movie where she would play the dumbest girl on the planet. How do little girls look up to a moron like this? It completley ruins everything America has fought for. *Tee-Hee* Sufferage? No, I'm not in any pain. *Tee-Hee*.
Rob Zombie must burn all further desire he has to make another movie. He must eat the ashes and pass the mess that will go through his digestive system, and flush it into the sewer forever. He is not a director. He's barely a writer, and has now twice let me down with attempts to make a movie to shock or astound me. I'm sure this piece of celluloid has shocked and astounded someone out there. But that's not necessarily a good thing. I'm sure he has a message somewhere that this movie is trying to voice. The problem is, the movie is so goddamn bad no one gives two shits about what that message is. From beginning to end, this movie is a disaster. And must die before it spreads its virus to other more competant directors.